Wait Poem

I was recently reminded of this poem...and I so needed it!  Maybe you do too!

Wait

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

 

"My future and all to which I relate

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

 

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

 

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

 

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

 

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

 

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

 

"You'd never experience the fullness of love

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

 

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

 

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

 

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

New Year...New Resolve

Well, 2010 is officially behind us and 2011 has dawned clear, bright and promising.

Before Thanksgiving we had the priviledge of sharing our adoption story along with a sacred concert up at Heritage Baptist Church in Orefield, PA. This was our first ministry fresh out of college and thankfully they still claim us up there! We were blessed beyond words by the love gift given to further our adoption and I am changing the "thermometer" to reflect how much that helped us.

We spent Thanksgiving at home with Pete's family coming in for a visit. It was busy, but so rewarding spending quality time with those we love.

Christmas was much the same, except for the 10 hour trip to Maine to be with my family. 13 cousins instead of 3 is a big difference, too. My parent's house isn't especially large, but it gets small quick with there are 23 people in it! We shared a wonderful day of memories shared and made and then headed home the middle of last week. I don't think I've ever looked forward more to the dullness that January and February typically bring with them. I find my heart craving after alone time with my Saviour and it makes me wonder how I could have made this past season more about Him. I just read a friend's blog where she lists a calculated plan to make next Christmas more purposeful. I know that as the months roll on I won't remember a specific plan, but I do need to work harder on making the season more about Him and less about us. That is my sole change for next year. I really would love to do an advent calendar with Ayla, too.

There is no new adoption news to speak of...wish I could say differently, but that is just the truth! We wait...knowing we wait on the perfect timing of our Lord.

We rejoice with our friends, Josh and Candace, as they received their referral for a baby girl from Ethiopia. I got to see her picture on Sunday and inevitably began the ever guarded water works! I'm so excited for their news and honestly so incredibly jealous!

I rest in this..."O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it." Ps. 139:1-6

Busy little Mommy!

Somewhere between potty training and getting ready for two craft fairs this fall I've also had time to sit back and worry and fret about how long with wait will be...can you believe that? Me, the world's calmest, coolest person (HA) worrying! Now if you know me at all you are laughing out loud. I'm the world's BEST worrier, but I must be honest...God is teaching me much about myself through this. He does give peace for today and hope for tomorrow. And I really can't be more thankful for that! I NEED it right now just like a little fishy needs water!

Thought you all might enjoy some currents pictures of what is keeping us busy!

Minnie Mouse made her debute at church on Sunday evening the 31st of October! She was playing the piano here just like "Daddy and Josh Groban"! Right! The good professor LOVED that! She was actually singing at this point, too!

The basement is progressing...I'm not quite ready to post pictures yet, but soon! I promise!

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support...I need it more than I'm truly willing to admit! If you are in the area come on out and support our craft show on Nov. 13th, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. at Calvary Baptist Church in Lansdale, PA!!

While we are waiting...

I thought it might be fun to document what we are doing while we are waiting patiently on the Lord for Baby #2. Ayla has taken it upon herself to pray for Baby Radford at EVERY opportunity! It is wonderful to hear her faithful pray for her little brother/sister.

First things first...The Basement! It is shockingly cluttered and in desperate need of a face lift before I move my "studio" down there!! Ok, so here it is...

Ok...don't judge! You all have spots like this...I'm sure, right?! And I am working on it! This is the pile of clutter that needs to be consolidated and given a "home"! Here is the picture of the wall where my sewing/creative table will go...

The good news...there is space under the stairs for a small storage closet! YIPPEEE!! Bad news, I really can't stud out a doorway by myself. I must wait for the ever busy professor/ pastor/PhD student! Lord, grant me patience! Here is the closet now!

So, to the left is from the outside looking in and to the right is at the doorway looking under the steps! I can't wait to see this space filled up with stuff!

So, here you have it! I've put it out there for the whole world to see...I can't wait to post some updated pictures as we make our progress. I will also post pictures of the loft when we get closer to moving the stuff out and getting the basement studio set up!

And now we wait...

We got the news on Friday that our home study is approved and we are in the book...ready to wait! We are so thankful to be at this step, but we also know what this wait is like. There were many days with our first adoption that seemed neverending as we waited. Then you get a call...you meet a birthmother and you wait again! Just a whole lot of waiting, but we are excited to learn what God has for us as we wait this time. Isaiah says "They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength...". Psalm 37 says "Trust in the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 38 "But for you, O Lord, do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer."
God continues to provide the funds for our adoption and we are learning to wait on Him in that area as well.
Please continue to pray for us as we wait. Pray that God will teach us more about Himself at this time and please pray for our child and the birthmother! We covet your prayers as we move the waiting phase!

For His Glory

Well, we are progressing! We have one meeting left with the adoption agency and they can update our home study. It is exciting and overwhelming, as always. I'm working continuously on our profile...pictures, pictures and more pictures. Praying over each page helps me feel more sure about what I put in.
We have had the opportunity to watch God provide in amazing ways. One instance was right after we had the benefit. We took a stack of checks to the bank...as the teller was processing them all she was asking what this was for, etc. We had the opportunity to share our story with her. She processed and we talked and by the time we both finished she was almost in tears. She told us she wanted to help, too. She pulled out her wallet and handed us a fifty! We were blown away. She was just so excited for us. We later took her a copy of the DVD from the benefit and we continue to keep her updated on our progress. What an awesome opportunity for her to watch God working in our lives! How cool is that?
Yesterday Pete came home with a look of amazement on his face and an incredible story. One of Pete's colleagues has been having Pete cut his hair this summer to help out toward the adoption, but yesterday he really felt led to go back to his "old" barber. He has a great relationship with this guy and over the years has had the opportunity to minister to him in different ways and he really felt like he should go back to him this month. Well, he also really wanted to support us...he was quite torn about what to do...so he prayed about it and headed out to the barber shop. As his barber cut his hair they began to talk about the summer and our friend began to share with him OUR story explaining his reason for not coming to have his hair cut all summer. The barber listened and when he was done cutting his hair he pulled out his checkbook and wrote us a check. Pete's colleague told me he was amazed to watch as God led him to minister to someone else, but still took care of us at the same time!
I'm so thankful that God is not bound by our finite minds and plans! His ways are much higher than our. We are praising the Lord as we watch Him provide!

What a week!

What a week it has been. Last week at this time I was fresh off of the adoption benefit and facing major surgery to have a mass removed from my abdomen. This time last week I was prepping for a colonoscopy...yuck! That's all I'll say on that. I was on a liquid diet Sunday and Monday and Tuesday took me in for surgery. We arrived around 10:30 a.m. and sat in pre-op until about 1 p.m. It didn't seem real until they wheeled me into the OR and I could see those massive lights above me, but at that point I had already been given some pretty sweet drugs and I didn't much care. The next thing I remember was severe pain...I woke up in recovery and was instantly begging for meds. The nurses were great! Truly...someone was specifically praying for my nurses because they were all so helpful and kind. They hooked me up to a "magic button" that when pushed made the whole world right again and knocked me out completely. I don't remember the trip from recovery to my room, but I do remember Pete being there and feeling so much better that he was around. Apparently our pastor came for a visit that night, too...I don't have any recollection of him being there, but according to my husband I began to talk to him and promptly fell asleep halfway through a sentence. I'm sure it will take a lifetime to live that one down. I do remember (remarkably) that they brought a therapy dog around and he was super soft and very docile, but after that it is a blurr...everything wore me out so fast.
Wednesday morning was still a slight blurr, but my friends, Alex and Bethany, came to see me and I just couldn't think of anything to say to make them comfortable. The haze persisted even after they unplugged me and made me get up and start moving. I was just so worn out the whole time! I had a couple more visitors as the day progressed and balloons...gorgeous balloons...I felt so loved...truly! As evening approached I had a few more visitors and appreciated them a little more...the heavy cloud had lifted and I could interact better with those around me, but I was still way more worn out than I thought possible. I slept all night Wednesday and the nurses let me!
Thursday morning they let me take a shower and get ready to head home...I was so excited. The car ride was excruciating and Pete was driving so carefully. I got home and went straight to bed...and slept and slept. The next few days were much the same...come down and see Ayla, talk and be sociable, sleep...sleep...sleep!
So, now it is Sunday and I'm all alone...my family is all at church...and I'm wishing I could be. I KNOW I belong here this morning. I would be mauled if I entered the church doors and that would be a major set back!
I am by no means pain-free, but I am so thankful that God has given the strength I've needed for each day and so thankful for the meals and help we have received! I've seen this week what the "family of God" really looks like...I'm so glad I'm a part of it.