I'm not great at truly listening to the Holy Spirit in my life, but this week was a little different.  I felt compelled to write a letter to a friend...as I pulled out the stationary and put ink to paper the words began to flow.  It was almost as if they weren't coming from me.  I thought of the friend I was writing to and then another name entered my mind and before the letter was done I had about four names floating around in my heart. To bad a letter this personal can't really be sent out to multiple friends.  My thought was true in ONE sense...this letter...ink on paper...can't be sent to more than one. Perhaps...just perhaps...you will benefit from this slightly "impersonal" version.


  My dear, sweet friend,

                   I'm overwhelmed with the desire - no - NEED to share with someone who will care and rejoice with me what I learned and have been learning.  It is hard...as you know...to praise Him in the storms of life, but I have been overwhelmed with this thought lately...I cannot expect Him to point me in a grand and new direction until I am willing to be "all in" right here where He has put me.  I seem to be stuck as with super glue to this spot.  A hamster on a wheel with small glimpses of an opening wherein to jump off only to find it a mirage that laughs at me as it passes!  Recent conversations with the soon-to-be Dr. have led us to change the way we pray and think.  Our church is so stuffed full of professional teachers that noone else (hardly) is afforeded the opportunity to be stretched by God's Spirit and forced to plunge themselves into the Word in order to point others to Him and so...the good Dr. is asked to teach a class.  He promptly asks a student to co-teach with him.  Our church is in financial straits...barely making budget (us too) but we reevalute our giving and promise to be more consistent and purposeful.  Four straight weeks of my tithe check reaching said destination - we must be the change we do desire to see around us.
                      Sunday morning...James 4...why do we fight and quarrel? I don't fight or quarrel with ANYONE, I'm an adult!! The Holy Spirit speaks..."You are a Prima Dona, you question MY choice for this pulpit, you grumble and don't trust"...OK, I'm listening.  Your passions are at war.  Passions? Lust? Pride? Maybe...but truly anything that you want more than God!!  Owww...so those poor feelings that lead to strife and anger are really just me loving ME and what I want more than God?  Hmmmm...my reaction to my children because they have messed with my peace, quiet, my plan for the day...yep, you love YOU more than God.  I would never be ok if my hubby came home with a tall cool blonde (or a dumpy brunette, for that matter) on his arm and wished to introduce me to his mistress...YET I step out on God in a surprisingly consistent manner.  Verse 5...He yearns jealously over the Spirit that He has made to dwell in us!  But He gives more grace!!  Glory!  Hallelujah!
                       The bookends for the morning message was the same song.  Before the "homily" :) I didn't truly hear what the song was saying. Honestly, I thought it was very good, but after James 4 was unpacked and the glorious Spirit inside me spoke I couldn't believe what I had missed the first time. With heart and hand aloft I heard this:
                       "...Shine the light on every corner of your life until the pride and lust and lies are in the open.  Then read the Word and put to test the things you've heard until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken. 'Cause you can sing all you want to...and still get it wrong; Worship is more than a song!!!"



 
           When Pete  got home from work and dinner was packed away and cleaned up I admitted that I didn't know WHO this letter was really for.  I KNOW it was for me!  I process best when sharpie pen meets paper.  The almost-Dr., Mr. Too-Smart-for-Me-to-Understand (most of the time), put his feet up on the couch and read my letter...quietly, thoughtfully, almost reverently.  He slowly put it down and I pounced..."Well, who is it for?" His simple reply surprised and delighted me, "I think it was for me....(pause)...and probably for you...and maybe a few others."
            So, maybe this is for you...just maybe it will draw you slightly closer to the great God we serve and encourage your heart.

Just another day of Grace - week 5

  Another year...we have another year at Calvary. Grace. We have been praying for direction and God continues to close and open doors.  Right now, staying at Calvary is the open door.  We needed God's Grace to leave our home and find a new place...now we need Grace to stay and keep on keeping on!  I'm so thankful that God gives "tailor made Grace" for me.  He doesn't give me yours or you mine.  He has a fresh supply for each of us.
164. Another bit of time in our little home.

  Mother's Day came and went...just another day full of Grace.  Ayla brought me a flower from class Sunday morning and I exclaimed "Oh, for me?" Ayla stopped..."No, it's mine, but I will let you smell it!"  Big smile. Grace.  I smiled back..."Thank you!"
166. Breakfast in bed.
168. Sunday School hand prints.

177. Dandelions.

  I officially decided that is was time for the seasonal switching of clothing and a much needed simplifying of my closet.  I have a large pile marked donate and a few items that I'm trying to sell off!  I don't think there is much better than cleaning out a closet and making it look beautiful...even though I'm the only one who will see it!          169. Color coordinated closet.
On a slightly seperate note, I found a wonderful solution to a box of purses under my bed considered storage.  I found a 3 hook board that was meant for one of the bathrooms, but wasn't being used and my ever willing hubby helped me install it under my freshly coordinated shirts.  All my purses are now hanging in my closet!  Love it.

171. Family Bible Time on the grass.

174. Littel legs running hard.

176. Curls after a bath.



 "Your grace still amazes me, your love, still a mystery.  Each day I fall on my knees cause your grace still amazes me." - Philips, Craig and Dean

Listen here.

  Have a blessed weekend.  I would love to hear what you all are thankful for.

Jenn

 

Everyday Beautiful - week 4

   I'm back on the weight loss warpath...hungry every moment of every day and getting up at 6:00 a.m. to get a work out in before the natives begin singing gleefully from their beds (that is literally they way my 2 wake up)!  Honestly, there is something beautiful about that, too!  Hence a couple of the gifts listed this week are #151 The Glow of Morning Dawn (because I'm actually seeing it)!  #156. is Accountability (for those morning workouts...Thanks to my "new" friend, Marion!) Hopefully we stay friends!!  

  Then when the workout ceases... #152 The stillness of 6:30 a.m.  Just Me and God...that is beautiful.

  The other day I was the happiest I've been in a LONG time when I saw two beautiful faces staring back at me on the computer screen...#153. Skyping 3 way with far away friends.  They are geographically far, but so close to my heart! 

#155. Singing Amazing Grace to Ayla before bed.  There are so many beautiful things in that one gift!

#157 is Paddington!

#159 Colorful birdies that watch Petra sleep.  Maybe this is why SHE wakes up singing!  I seriously need to make some of these for my room!  Maybe you do too!  Click here for the pattern. 
The birdie pattern is off to the right hand side under "Free Patterns"! 


I'm not sure that anything sends my heart fluttering like creating something from what I already have!!  This past week I had the opportunity to wrap the senior wives gifts for seminary!  Guess what they got?  YEP..."One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp Click Here for Amazon link!
  Well, I didn't want to wrap them any old boring way, but money is tight...
                           so I went digging through and this is what I found!

Wrapping paper I already had...



 Plus some old sweaters that were felted (some on accident and some on purpose), old ties (with special thanks to my friend Jeremy and my Dad, ribbon and of course, buttons...add a hot glue gun and...

you get...EVERYDAY BEAUTIFUL!!!  #160. Stacks of colorful creative packages.

Have a creative and beautiful week!!!

 Jenn





One Thousand Gifts - week 3

   I find even the thought of coffee comforting today!  I must admit my mind is racing as I put the Via in the glass and add the hot water...just a little...enough to dissolve the instant and sugar and then the milk splashes around the glass as my mind begins to formulate another plan. 
Why is it so hard just to rest in the arms of the Almighty?  One phrase just continually haunts my thoughts today...two paychecks left...two paychecks left! 
Add the ice cubes...glad ice is free! 
The Painter will be here by the end of the week to get the deck in tip top shape...it needs it...if we are going to sell...
Choose to set my mind on God's provision from last week...I'm so glad that I have that to bring to mind...also I'm reminded that I'm not the first that didn't know where they were going...
Abraham was called out to a place he didn't know...
Noah built a massive boat because there was going to be a flood...what's a flood?
Gideon went forward into battle with a handfull of men...because God told him to...
Ruth stayed with Naomi and it took her to a foreign land where she knew noone and was an outsider...God put her in the line of Christ because she followed Him...
   But that's the OLD TESTAMENT... Ok, ...
a young girl was approached by an angel and told she would bare the Messiah...
a group of fishermen put aside their nets and followed when Jesus called...
a little boy gave all he had...5 loaves and 2 fish and watched a miracle happen...
a Pharisee, a real gem of a guy, made a huge life change on the road to Damascus...granted God had to knock him to his knees and blind him to get him to listen...but once he obeyed he literally turned the World upside down in Jesus' name...
   None of these knew what the outcome would be...they just followed and obeyed.
Trust and obey...for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus...

So many gifts last week...I know this week will be full, too!

105. Silos on the hillside. (I so wish I had a picture to put here...still fresh in my mind)

107. Coming home.

113. A weekly cleaning job.

120. Baby overalls!

123. Annonymous note in the mail with $50.

127. Jelly bean rewards.

128. Window markers for practicing letters!

130. Giant foodstore gift cards in the mail...again annonymous!

133. Sewing jobs while I stay home with 2 beautiful munchkins.

135. Potty seat put away without my asking.



136. Summer clothes for the girls!

138. "Because He lives I can face tomorrow!" ~ special thanks to Jackie Landers for worshipping God in her special way and making me realize just how RICH I am in HIM!!!

Hope your week is as blessed as mine as you follow Him on YOUR journey! 

Jenn

One Thousand Gifts - week 2

I must be transparent...if I am nothing else I am transparent!  This has been an AWEFUL week.  To be honest, it has just been the last few days, but it feels like it has been weeks.
Ok, so here is my week...
end of last week I start this killer cold (that is still not gone); Friday we decide that we are ALL going to go up to NH while Pete goes to Boston to run the marathon; Saturday morning Pete goes alone and gets on a bus (with his running group) and heads to Boston...I'm sad, but ok; Monday Pete runs the hardest/hottest marathon EVER and gets home at 1 a.m. on Tuesday morning; Monday I get a call from a stranger about a fraudulant charge on our debit card...I head to bank and find out that someone has Pete's card number and has basically emptied our checking account...we get the "fix it" ball rolling; Monday was also my last day nursing Petra...sadness; Wednesday I have a cleaning job, cramps and I'm sore from non-nursing; Today Pete calls the bank and realizes that MORE money has been withdrawn fraudulantly because we put more in to cover our expenses on the bank's recommendation!  Meanwhile, we have no offers for a job and May 31st is looming (to say the least)!
It has not been easy to jot down gifts this week, but I was encouraged today as I read last weeks gifts and then I started seeing all the wonderful gifts that I was given this week in the midst of all the frustration...I just couldn't see them through the foggy cloud of self pity!  So here it is...hope it is a blessing to you, too!

52. Comforting hum of the dishwasher.
59. Evenings at home.

76. Happy flowers in a canning jar brought to me by a handsome runner man who kept race pace while stopping to pick them for me!

82. Hopscotch!

87. Baby Pinecones.

88. Kissing bridge!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoxWSk9fLMU

90. "By His death I live again." - The Gospel Song

91.5  Someone willing to go beyond their job description to check on a random purchase...that ended up fraudulant.
96. Pain meds!
97. Having money in our savings to transfer to cover this weeks expenses!

98. Dust free / clutter free dresser!

100. Sunshine, blossoms and butterflies...the view from My Spot.

So what are your gifts this week?

Blessings,

Jenn



One Thousand Gifts

Last January my friend Polly gave me a book called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.  In October my friend Erika sent me the same book.  I decided maybe I should read it!  So, in February I started reading and I'm not going to lie...it is slow going.  I don't get many opportunities to sit and read these days!  But I'm plugging away at it and in the mean time telling everyone I meet about this book and the incredible help it has been to me as we wade through the uncertainty which is currently our life!  Now, I would like to preface this post by saying that I'm not a Voskamp disciple...she is just a lady, albeit with a profound knack for putting "feelings" onto paper, but nonetheless...just a lady.  I don't think she would choose to be uplifted to the pedestal some feel belongs to her and if she does I don't want to know...I choose to think her humble. 
I'm realizing that this book is hard to summarize, but if I could it would be this: through the hardships and the joy of life we are given good gifts every day from a good God.  When we intentionally look for these gifts and give thanks to the One who gives all things our lives will radically change.  Discontent and fear, anger and jealous cannot live in a thankful heart.  A good God cannot give bad things...although it sometimes feels bad it is only because our perspective is skewed by the here and now of this earthly home.  I'm trying to intentionally look beyond the pain and dispair of today and thank God for all of His good gifts to me.  Will you join me?
I would like to blog my list of 1000 gifts (don't worry, I won't share all 1000)!  I'm no photographer, but I may try to add some of that too!  I would love to hear from all of you!  What are you thankful for today?  Are you sharing it with those around you? There is no better way to spread God's steadfast love than to express the good gifts God has given you.  I promise your attitude will change when gratitude is your attitude!
OK...ready, set go!

1. Thick mist across my backyard.

4. The sight of a sleepy 3 yr. old first thing in the morning.

5. Baby Smiles!

15. A quiet house.

24. Dates with my hubby.

 

49. Green Latte' mug all skinny and tall bringing my morning "fix".

50. "There are no strangers, there are no outcasts, there are no orphans of God".

My goal will be one post a week...continuing my list!  What are you thankful for today?

Cloth diapers, Little People and Resumes

So...currently BOTH of my children are napping...I can't quite believe that this amazing event is occurring simultaneously!  Although I have about 4 large loads of laundry to fold...I'm literally at a loss of what to do...so, blog I shall!

Ayla and Petra in Poppy's wagon!

This is my official farewell to 2011 and Hello 2012!  My life changed in many ways in 2011 and it is looking like 2012 will be almost as interesting...hopefully, a little less 'dramatic'!
2011 started with the final days of my Father's life here on earth...Ayla and I spent 2 emotion charged weeks in Maine only to come home and discover I was pregnant.  Shock...and then morning sickness and I seriously haven't slept ALL night long since about May or June!  Mostly they were 'good' reasons to be awake, but still!  But if you have been following me at all...this is not NEW news! 

Cloth Baby!! 

My last post on here was week 35 of my pregnancy and Petra Grace decided to enter our world a smidge early at 36 weeks.  She is thriving and healthy...a whopping 13.2 lbs. at her 3 month checkup.  I am doing cloth diapers with her...more than I anticipated and just loving it.  I would love any opinions you all have about detergents...I have used Rockin' Green and EcoNuts...like both, but I'm ready for some input on that one!  Currently I'm in love with FLIP diapers which can be purchased at BabysRUs or online at www.cottonbabies.com OR if you are like me...you wait patiently watching www.craigslist.org for someone to sell them uber cheap!  I also got some used bumGenius hook and loop covers from cottonbabies and recently purchased a 'well-loved' bumGenius 4.0 snap version which I'm falling head over heals for!  I found that the hook and loop leak when Petra naps on her belly.  ICK!  I also purchased 1 cover from www.justsimplybaby.com and got 2 free (great story), but they consistently leak as well and I'm not in love with their performance, but their style is 2 thumbs up.  JSB does have wonderful sales on inserts though and I really like the size of them for my little munchkin.  I have about 12 or 13 Imse Vimse (Swedish for Itsy Bitsy) that I will be trying soon...they are not onesize, but are for 15 lbs and up.  I'll have to let you know what I think of those!

Ok, now for Little People...Ayla is in love with all things Little People right now. We got her the Nativity for the Christmas season and she and Daddy had a great tradition of having the wise men or Mary sing songs from on top of the stable (where the angel is supposed to sit).  Ayla just makes up her own words and tune!  Fantastic...wish I could have filmed it, but alas...the camera appears and the cheesy smile takes the place of whatever else was happening!  Often I hear her in room time talking to Eddie and Sarah Lynn.  She is seeming bigger and bigger now that Petra is around.  She is a wonderful helper and completely adores her little sister.  The feeling is quite mutual, I'm happy to announce.  They will be great friends someday...I'm sure. 

Candle pin bowling with the Radford clan!  SO exciting! (Notice...no shoes.  They don't making bowling shoes that small!)

2012 is promised to bring many changes for our family.  We got the word in November that due to downsizing (which NEEDED to happen) The Good Professor, my dear darling hubby Pete, will be out of a job as of May 31, 2012.  Praising the Lord for extended notice and praying fervently that the Good Shepherd will lead and guide these wandering sheep.  We are resting in the fact that He didn't fall asleep and 'Oh, goodness...what happened with Pete and Jenn?'  This was a planned event and much needed in our lives for some reason.  It has been a wonderful reminder to both of us that we are where (and what) we are by the Grace of God alone...no wisdom or power of our own has put us in a job we have loved and with people that we will miss greatly if we have to leave them.  We do not doubt this is exactly what God has for us, but now we need to decide whether to try to get Pete's PhD finished and then move on or whether to move somewhere and let the PhD go.  Mind numbing to mull over and never have an answer.  Most people don't realize that Pete isn't full-time music at Calvary, but full-time seminary prof and part-time music.  We are not anxious to leave...quite the opposite, actually.  God has used this church and seminary in a very special way in our lives.  Just trusting He who holds our future!

Blessings to you all in this new year...thanks for taking time to read about my life and adding your 2 cents!